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Thursday, April 3, 2014

A breakup letter...

            Two years ago I said goodbye to a woman who I had known for a long time. She and I spent so much time together. Too much time together. Years! She was a broken woman fighting demons far bigger than her and I felt burdened by having her around. I was unkind to her. I thought so little of her. It wasn’t nice. It wasn’t right. I needed to be honest with her. It was a toxic relationship. So… we broke up. This is the letter I wrote to that demon stricken woman in hopes that she'd find a way to rid herself of some of those demons. Or, at least, coexist with them peacefully. I think she figured it out ;)

 Dear Self,

There are some things you should know.

Know the difference between what you want and what you need. It’s okay to cry. It’s not okay to quit. Cry when you need to. Get it out. Get back to your feet. Don’t be afraid to fail. There are so many other things in this world worth being fearful of and failure isn’t one of them. You are your greatest ally. Don’t settle or resign yourself to less than what you want. Commit yourself to what’s important and never quit. You aren’t perfect. Stop pretending to be. Stop trying to be. Revel in your flaws. They make you, you. “What if” is a dangerous way of thinking. Don’t plague yourself with it. Listen to your gut. Your gut is smart. Be someone that you can be proud of. Whatever “it” is, let “it” go. You weren’t meant to cling to “it” like you do. Forgive. Overanalyzing things can skew your judgment. Refrain from over thinking. Most things in life are beyond your control. Revenge feels great but it’s never a good idea. Inspiration is everywhere. Look at it. You’re not responsible for the actions of others. When in doubt… breathe. You’ll be old before you know it. Start enjoying life. Giving up on your self is the worst brand of betrayal. You’ll regret it every time. Admit your mistakes then let it go. Taking time to appreciate small things can make a big difference. Thinking too much about the future can be overwhelming. You can get lost in the “not knowing.” In which case, return to yourself and think only about the present. You get what you give so be generous. Don’t be afraid to gamble but do it wisely. Take risks. The reward can be well worth the risk and even when it’s not the knowledge of your own courage is reward enough. Soak it up. Explore options. Saying things in anger almost always results in guilt. Believe in yourself and the world will too. Or they won’t. Either way, it doesn’t matter because you are your greatest fan. It’s not narcissistic. It’s necessary. A victory is a victory no matter the scale or significance. Don’t push people away or one day you’ll find that they have stopped coming around. If you have to spend more than three seconds deciding if you are making the right choice, chances are, you are making the wrong choice. Know your limitations and accept them. Make no apologies for those limitations. It is what it is. There is a big difference between your head and your heart. Figure it out. Be honest with yourself. Always. Don’t worry with being unkind to yourself. So many people in this world will do a fine job of being mean to you. Don’t do them any favors by adding to the insults. It’s good to hope. It’s not fanciful or naïve. Control negativity or it will control you. Explore your world. See things through. It doesn’t matter if it’s something huge or something insignificant. It’s important and gratifying to be a person of your word. Anything worth doing is worth doing the right way. Enjoy what you can. Life is hard enough, don’t you think? Have faith in something. A faithless world is a desolate sort of place that no one should ever have to endure living in. Set goals. Hold yourself accountable. Holding grudges is exhausting. Never dismiss yourself. Be decisive. Let go of the past or it will dictate the future. Play to your strengths. Know yourself. Spend time really getting to know yourself like you’d spend time getting to know a new love. There is beauty in heartache. It reminds you that you are still human. Embrace it. Challenge yourself. Don’t make excuses. Never compromise yourself, your dreams, your morals, your dignity, or your self-worth. No commodity could ever be worth having if this is the price.


What would your letter to yourself say?  


  1. I've suffered a case of the "what ifs" and battled with a fear of the future when my life as I'd known it for 15-1/2 years changed on a dime. Life IS very hard, but you are right in having faith in something or someOne to get you through. Beautiful letter to yourself....and to me. ♥

  2. I would honestly say ditto and just throw in, Fuck "Should!" Life isn't meant to be lived by what should happen, where we should go, what people should say, it's meant to be lived based on what is and on what we want for the future so don't let others decide those things for you. Be brave and stand firm.

    I am going to write my own letter...that's what this letter really said to me..You need to write a letter to yourself and be free of the demons and guilt!! Thank you sooo much!!